How to Endure the Things We Can Not Change and Find Lasting Peace
Shit happens. Yes, I a self proclaimed new age and positive bandwagon person said it, and it's worth saying again--SHIT happens.
The world is full of crazy, irrational, unstable, and challenging chaos. Let's get real. Even us powerful beings can't wish it away (at least not yet:) ). We live in a realm of good, bad, light, dark, and every shade in between. How ever can we find our footing? Or stability?
Buddhism tells us to take the middle path or look at the gray. Positive psychology and metaphysics advise re-framing to a positive paradigm. And, most recently, I've been working with Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for some of my clients. DBT encourages us to have radical acceptance.
So, what the heck is radical acceptance? Am I going to ask you to give up, lay on your back and allow people and the world to walk all over you?
Helz, no! Contrary to this disbelief, radical acceptance requires much more strength and wisdom. Radical acceptance is the determination to accept the things we cannot change and to claim our power in areas that we can change.
While DBT isn't spiritual, I add my own personal twist here in that it reminds me of the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.
Similar to this prayer, to me (with my own twist) radical acceptance is accepting what we cannot change, while still having the courage and strength--with God's help--to change what we can. Of course, this takes wisdom to know the difference. Thus, prayer! Through our prayers and meditation we can discern and we give over our worries to God or what some may call the Universe.
If we are constantly unhappy, depressed, anxious, distressed or at odds with that which we can not change (often this revolves around what happened in the past or what will happen in the future), we aren't accepting this moment now.
Moreover, this moment can be an opportunity for personal growth. We can practice: our patience, our faith that the Universe has our backs, our unconditional love for others and ourselves, our presence, and our resiliency...
Each moment is an opportunity that can only be lost when we are critical of others, situations, or ourselves--when we aren't accepting. However, with radical acceptance for what was, is and may be, and having the courage to change what we can to live a more fulfilling life, we can not only endure the shit, but also thrive and find peace.
If you would like assistance in practicing this process of a thing called radical acceptance, you can book a free 15 minute phone, consultation at karihalvorson.youcanbook.me . We can chat to see if working together would be a good fit. If you are a current client of mine, you can also book a session.
How do you accept the things you can not change? Join the conversation by adding comments below. Your contribution is valuable!